Working from Home!
I think the initial thought of working from home is extremely attractive…. Once we had decided that is was a safer option for us and lock down began, I could see that working from home could be incredible.
In my mind, I saw lots of quiet time to write blogs, drinking coffee, time to catch up with good people that I had not spoken to in a while and get through all the piles of admin that I had kept putting off.
Being a single mum changes of few of the dynamics. So firstly, I needed a plan. I love a plan and a ‘To-Do’ list. A few days after we had decided to work from home, the local schools decided to close too. I could see this working out well. Wow!
The Original Plan
So, day one. I got up early and compiled my new daily and weekly plan. I thought that if I got up at 5am- got most of my bits done before 7am, I could then shower, get ready, get breakfast done and my daughter and I could go for a nice walk before school and the office opened, in my kitchen.
I could see it now, nice coffees, white boards in my kitchen, lovely walks and fresh air, home cooked meals, admin free within a handful of weeks. This was going to be a dream. We both decided to write our goals over the next 3 months as to what we wanted to achieve. We both thought this would be great to keep us focused and on track. We had bags of enthusiasm.
The plan was done and up on the fridge. I had also created a daily and weekly plan for my daughter, which included P.E (me being the P.E coach) Creative time, Reading, Spelling practice and the School work books and timetable. I tried to coincide my work time, during an activity of my daughter’s that meant she could just get on with it – this took a few weeks of practice. What I had not taking into consideration that she was going to ask a lot of questions….
So I created my first plan, I put in golden time for my daughter, which is something that they do at school, and I was trying to mirror as much of what they do into her day. The plan was done, this was easy. My god, how wrong I was!
The Plan vs Reality
First day, up early, follow the plan. Let’s go. How I saw it going and how it went was quite different. I was up from 5am, got my bits done. Showered, and dressed for our daily exercise. The walk before breakfast was our time to chat about life, our day and just a lovely set up to the morning. I learnt quickly not to take my phone with me. Once we got back, I felt good. My daughter Lily had some fresh air and we were both ready to start the day. The “office” was open.
Laptop and work phone charged and ready. Lily sat next to me to start her first day of home school. My daughter asked for some topics to be explained, so I would go through what I thought would be the answer and she would often look at me and reply “that’s not how they teach us at school” Hmmmm, this may not be as easy as I first thought. We had a few debates, and, in the end, Lily would explain to me how it was calculated and I started my journey of learning something new.
What I had also not taken into consideration is how many people call you during the day, even though you are at home (but at work) so my “plan” needed updating and built in extra call times. I started to notice that whilst I was on a call, Lily would jump on her phone. I really had to limit her phone time as conscious that this time that we got together, we would not get back again. If I am honest there was a massive feeling of guilt too. I knew she would be missing her friends, I knew that I would not be the same as any other teacher, I didn’t want her falling behind and I knew that she needed to spend time with me.
The New Plan
So, a week into the plan, I decided that I needed to do a new one (I have since created 3 new plans!) I used the kitchen as the office and classroom and was conscious that my daughter’s schoolwork was important but also her mental well-being and happiness was important too. She was now not seeing her friends and as much as I actively encourage daily calls and Facetime to her friends, I realised very quickly, that it just wasn’t the same. I felt under pressure. I was conscious that it was just me, I had to ensure that she was OK, her school work done, she was getting lots of fresh air. I was working, trying to balance money, now learning how to cook…it was actually a million times harder than what I thought.
After a few weeks, I started to be less hard on myself. I had felt overwhelmed by my expectations of myself. I kinda got used to not being able to control everything and knew that during this time, I wasn’t able to fix it. I had great days and I had days that were not so great.
Business Challenges
Our business is still very new, and I was conscious that we still needed to keep this going. It was tough when no one was working because no one wanted to recruit, because no one needed anyone! Yes, we needed the sales and income, but I wasn’t going to be that annoying recruiter that was chasing business. I pride myself in having spent years building great relationships with people, I wasn’t going to change just because we were under a new type of pressure. Adding new contacts to our database, talking to people that I had not spoken to in a while and just generally making sure that people were OK, kept me busy. I struggled with not being able to add value (or certainly what I was used to doing), creating interviews and picking up nice roles to work on. But the chats that I did have were lovely and allowed me to build a strong bond with people.
From a financial perspective, this was probably one of the biggest concerns (outside of us keeping healthy and well and my friends and family being OK). We had a limited amount of cash and we could see that people were not going to recruit for a while. If anyone knows me well, they will know that asking for help is something that I have struggled with for a long time and not something that I like to do. I like to cope and often think that asking for help, meant I have failed.
What helped me during this time?
So many things have helped me during this time. Firstly, just learning to be OK with not getting everything done. Knowing that things were not going to be like this forever. Staying positive and helping others when I could. Making others laugh. Catch up calls with my son. This gave me a sense of purpose. My brother – he brought clothes, games, food, wellbeing packages and so many things that just melted my heart. (These were dropped off in line with social distancing and most were companies that delivered). He called me every single day and asked ME “How are you today?” but really meant it. My friends ordered food for Lily and me – and I would often just have a little sob because I was overwhelmed by how incredible people can be. The chats on the phone with great friends that would often remind me who I was and that I could do this. The school giving me the confidence that I was doing a good job and Lily was doing well in her home lessons.
What do I miss?
- I miss my family so much and can’t wait to see them all and give them a massive hug
- My friends and being able to hug them
- Starbucks
- The gym
- People hiring
What I won’t miss
Staying inside 24/7
What I have learnt?
- To be kind to yourself and others
- To make sure that others really are OK
- That its OK to ask for help
- That time is very precious
- How to make mash potatoes
What would I have done differently?
- Less structure to my day
- Asked for help
- Had some veg out days when I just watched movies and ate rubbish with Lily
The future
Now working from home looks like it could be the new normal for some time. I not going to miss putting make up on every day and enjoy the fresh face feel. I am still going to make sure that Lily and I have our daily walk and catch up. I am going to spend more time talking to those that are important to me. I am going to continue to surround myself with positive and upbeat people. I have updated my goal list and do a daily “gratitude journal” I have learnt that we just can’t control everything and need to make the most of every second we have.